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Parenting issues are often the most highly disputed, emotionally charged, and stressful areas of family law for parents to navigate. In family law cases, the Court must make parenting decisions by assessing only what is in a child’s best interests. While this may sound simple, parents often have very different ideas about what is best for their child.
Parents in the midst of separation and divorce may enjoy indulging in the latest updates on celebrity custody battles, but there are also a number of famous couples who have managed to successfully co-parent with one another. While the stories of couples separating amicably and remaining friends, may not be as newsworthy as a juicy tabloid exposé, they do show newly separated parents that despite how bad the break-up was or how terrible things feel right now, there is hope. This is especially important where children are involved.
In my experience, disputes between parents after divorce and separation most often arise from one fundamental disagreement about their child’s post-separation parenting schedule; one parent wants shared parenting and the other does not agree and wants the child primarily in their care. In a shared parenting schedule, the parents share parenting time with the child between 40% and 60%. So this could be a 50/50 schedule, or 45/55, or 40/60. Often shared parenting is week on/week off, but it could also be 4 days/3 days or even an exchange of the child that follows a 2-2-3 schedule.
There is often a suspicion by one parent that the parent who is looking for shared parenting is just doing so to reduce their child support payments as child support in shared parenting can be paid on a set-off basis. A set-off of child support involves determining what each parent would pay in child support based on their own income and then whoever pays more pays the difference to the other parent.
According to this family law case, some examples which may support shared parenting are: Both parties being capable and engaged parents; Good communication between the parents; No evidence that the child will not be properly cared for and have their needs met in the care of each parent; Adequate work and childcare arrangements after separation; A history of shared parenting by the parties; The parents having important and different interests and capabilities to pass on to the child; The child has spent significant time with the non-primary parent and has strong attachments to both parents; The child has expressed a preference for shared parenting and is of an age and maturity level where such wishes should be considered; A parenting assessment which recommends shared parenting; If shared parenting enhances the child’s exposure to a parent’s cultural background; If shared parenting increases the opportunity for the child to learn each parent’s first language; The opportunity for increased time with half-siblings in shared parenting, particularly when the children are mid-to-late teen ages; The opportunity for meaningful contact with other members of the child’s family, such as step-siblings; If shared parenting allows a child to continue to attend the school where their friends are; If there is nothing to suggest that a parent is unfit, harmful, or neglectful; A parent’s unique ability to assist a child with disabilities; Both parents having an appropriate residence for the child; Maintaining a close relationship with grandparents who have been involved in childcare; The ability of the parents to easily adapt to shared parenting; If shared parenting allows the primary parent some relief from the child in order to pursue career or educational opportunities; A manageable driving time between both parents’ residences; Where the only objections to shared parenting are that the change would be difficult or that the other parent can be difficult, positive factors about shared parenting will outweigh these issues; If shared parenting can mitigate or neutralize bickering, hostility, and communication difficulty; If the historical primary parent has attempted to thwart the other parent’s involvement and time with the child; A parent and their new partner providing a loving home for the child; The parent who has historically not been the primary caregiver having a flexible work schedule or is able to work from home; If both parents rely on third party childcare during their parenting time; and On an interim basis, where the parents appeared to have done shared parenting following separation.
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